Crazy is Hard to See When You are Living In It

by Rebecca on December 30, 2013

bigstock-Tornado-2172151Being that it is the end of the year, I have been doing a lot of reflecting about how the last year has gone.  Those who know me well may remember that last year at this time, I was at about the lowest point I had ever been with regards to my business.  The business was doing fine financially, BUT our team was falling apart, and I was trying mightily to put it back together.

The biggest issue was a person who had been on the team had quit without notice.   It threw me for a major loop, and it also meant that overnight we lost 1/3 of our team-not a good situation for a busy surgical practice!   The person who quit was someone I thought was vital to my practice-without her I was not sure we could provide the level of service that I desired and that scared me.

The next few months were both emotionally and physically taxing. I am so thankful for the rest my team (and our new hire)- without them I would not have come through it the way I did. There are so many times I beat myself up about what I could have done better or should have done better.

I felt like I had failed as a leader.

As I was doing this self-flagellation, I also realized that someone else on the team had to go.  This person had been with me a long time as well but I truly believe he was unintentionally responsible for a lot of the chaos and disorganization within our practice.   This was so painful for me because I felt like I had failed even though I had done all that I could to treat both of them well and be the best boss I could be.

Looking back now, I see the situation in such a different light.  The crazy was all around me and I did not realize it.  The other day, Missy forwarded me a bunch of old emails she had when I was sending everyone a new policy for this and a new policy for that.

What was really going on is those two people were not doing their jobs well.  I am not at all saying that to put them down and to make them look bad.  The real issue was that neither of them were good fits for our team.  Their leaving was the best thing that could have happened for them and for the rest of us.

Check out this clip from Jim Collins speaking about not having the right people on the bus.

“The moment you feel you have to tightly manage someone, you have probably made a hiring mistake.  The right people don’t need to be managed they need to be lead….”

Staying in a job that is not suited to your personality is stressful.  You will never find it easy to do things that do not come naturally to you.  As the one in charge feeling like you constantly have to tightly manage people and situations is a horribly taxing and emotionally draining.   The buck stopped with me for sure because I was the one that hired them and I could not see what was going on right in front of me.

Our team is so much better now; I have people who buy in to what we are trying to do every day.  Things that used to drive me crazy never happen anymore.  My stress level is so low; it is almost impossible for me to get angry-in short I feel like I used to years ago.  In fact, we worked with a tech the other day who we had not seen in about 1.5 years and she asked Nicole what was up with me because I was so laid back and easy going.

I had been completely wrapped up in trying to fix crazy and I did not even know it!  This was a great lesson to learn for me and I now feel confident that I will recognize it a lot sooner.  I also know when I am feeling that need to tightly manage someone, it is likely due to a bad fit for the job rather than something being wrong with me.

 Have you ever been trapped in the crazy cycle and not realized it until later?

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